


one for sorrow, two for mirth

by JuniperTrees



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Hogwarts Mystery
Genre: 5+1, Drinking, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Growing Up Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 12:07:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16085795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuniperTrees/pseuds/JuniperTrees
Summary: Apologies and Merula just never mixed.Or five times Merula didn’t apologize and the one time she did.





	one for sorrow, two for mirth

**Author's Note:**

> this was in my drafts and i wanted to publish it for kicks

1\. (4th year)

You don’t know when you started liking Merula. 

You know why you do, but you’ve never quite figured out when you fell in love with her. There was no epiphany. It was just wanting to see her everyday and hoping you’d see her again, and possibly soon.

And, well, Merula was always difficult. She lied and bullied and denied, denied, denied when it came to liking you - but you got her in the end.

It took patience and care, lots of eye-rolling, and nearly five years worth of biting words and quick duels in the courtyard. 

Your friends do not know. They suspect, and you know that Rowan has always known but has never said anything.

On occasion, you almost get caught kissing her in the corridor, but she backs away even at the slightest sound. 

You also suspect that Merula wants them to know. She hides it, but that might be because she doesn’t want to hurt you. It’s these moments of sensitivity that make her kind of sweet.

You decide you’ll tell them in the end, and you do. You don’t like hiding things.

When you tell them, there’s a brief silence before it’s filled with laughter, then another silence as they realize that you are dead serious. Slowly, their eyes turn to Merula sitting a few tables away, and you’re distinctly aware that she’s looking back.

Penny doesn’t talk to you for a week. You expected her to be angry. Merula had done a lot to deserve anger, but she was angry at you too. Maybe she saw your declaration as a betrayal.

Rowan is perplexed and confused, but they don’t say anything and they give you a sympathetic pat on the shoulder whenever Penny brushes you off. 

Bill and Charlie are stunned, to say the least, but they give no criticism. They never liked Merula, but they’re forgiving, good people. 

Ben refuses to meet your eyes and always makes up an excuse to leave when you try to talk to him. He scurries away when he sees you coming, afraid of confrontation. He sends you apologetic looks though, when Penny takes his hand and drags him away with her. But eventually, he cracks after day three; you knew he would.

On occasion, you catch Merula looking almost retentive, as if she’s thinking really hard about something. You almost think she’s on the brink of apologizing for the trouble she’s caused but you brush that thought off very quickly. She never does.

You offer no apologies. They are not yours to give.

 

2\. (Fifth year)

You quickly find that Merula’s acerbity triples when she’s sick. She comes down with a cold and Madam Pomfrey gives her medicine, though Merula complains that it isn’t enough.

Madam Pomfrey doesn’t seem to mind your presence because she lets you visit Merula frequently. Later, you find out it’s because she’s much more docile when you’re around.

You bring her her homework between classes and she doesn’t say thank you, but it lies unspoken in the air. Madam Pomfrey frowns deeply when she sees Merula doing work while you sit beside her, but she doesn’t say anything. Perhaps she knows that Merula is just stubborn enough to ignore all of her warnings.

When Madam Pomfrey isn’t looking, you sneak quick kisses, reveling in the way Merula turns scarlet and refuses to look at you for a good ten minutes. It’s fine in the end though, because she always lets you kiss her again.

Madam Pomfrey tuts when you arrive at the Hospital Wing, not to see Merula (she was released a day before), but to lay yourself down with what seems to be a cold.

You know that it was Merula’s and she shows up and sits next to you, looking extremely sullen.

When you try to peck her on the cheek, she recoils, scowling. “You’ll get me sick.” She hisses.

You frown. “This is your cold, you know.”

She goes quiet at that. You’re not particularly angry, but Merula is generous enough to give you her hand as you fall asleep.

 

3\. (Sixth year)

You and Merula fight a lot, almost every day, in fact. She snipes and scoffs while you roll your eyes and sardonically argue with her about the most trivial, inconsequential things. 

Sometimes, your arguments are particularly bad, and you end up ignoring each other until as usual, you apologize-even when you did nothing wrong.

Penny presses her lips together and tells you on this occasion that you shouldn’t apologize first. Merula’s ‘sorry’s are long overdue. ‘Start keeping tabs’, she says apathetically.

When you once again ignore Merula as you pass her in the hallway, she turns around and stops you.

“Hey.” She says in a not too friendly way.

“What.” You say back, refusing to look at her.

There’s a silence that she doesn’t know how to fill, and you don’t bother to try.

After a frustrating minute, she scowls. “I’m not saying sorry.” Her eyebrows dip when she talks.

“Neither am I.” You say as neutrally as you can.

At this, she makes a noise of disgust and stomps away. You don’t bother going after her.

When you see her in potions, she sits and pretends that you don’t exist. She seems slightly miffed when you do the same, and when you’re leaving class, she catches you by the arm.

You stand there impatiently as Merula gives you a hard look. After a minute, she throws your hand forcefully away and snarls ‘fine’ before storming off.

Rowan sees the look on your face. “Still fighting?” They ask. Your grunt is more than enough an answer.

The third time Merula comes up to you, you’re feeling tired of purposely ignoring her.

“You know it was your fault, right?” You ask.

“No it wasn’t.”

“Are you going to apologize?”

“No. What are you going to do about it?”

You move to go, only slightly, but Merula catches the movement and her face crumples. That’s when you give in.

“Alright, alright.” You sigh, pulling her towards you and hugging her. “I’m sorry.” You pretend not to notice her sniffling.

Merula goes lax in your arms and hits your arm. “Say you’re sorry.” She mumbles petulantly and you let out a disbelieving laugh.

“I just did!”

“Say it again.” She demands more angrily and you acquiesce.

“Sorry, sorry.” You stifle your laughter, and Merula scowls but makes no move to leave.

 

4\. (Seventh year)

“You forgot it?”

Merula stands there, looking very crabby and somber. “Yeah.” She says when you ask her again.

You throw your arms up. “How did you forget? It was important. Now we can’t do anything.”

Merula’s face sours. “Why didn’t you remember?” She asks.

She’s shifting the blame onto you and you know this, but you take the bait anyways. “You said you had it!” 

Merula’s eyes go stone-cold, the look she always gets whenever she knows she’s wrong but won’t admit it. Anyone other person would say sorry and move on with it, but Merula is so hellishly stubborn that you don’t even let the thought cross your mind. You’re just looking for an excuse to blow off steam and you two start arguing about whose fault it is. This bickering drags on for a solid hour until the both of you are exhausted, having run out of things to scream about.

You sigh and massage your forehead, feeling a headache coming up. “Let’s just go back.”

Merula is too furious to reply. She just shoulders her bag and marches off without a backwards glass.

With a heavy exhale, you set off after her.

 

5\. (Graduation)

Hogsmeade is a cheerful place, unless you’ve got a drunken, sluggish Merula to drag along with you.

“I told you to stop drinking butterbeer.” You tell her as the two of you sit in a secluded corner. Your friends socialize a table away.

Merula moans and shifts in your lap where she’s been lying for the past fifteen minutes.

You pat her hair down, already used to it’s straw-like texture. It’s about as soft as it looks: not at all.

She reaches up to drag you down towards her and you let her kiss you even though the angle is weird and her breath reeks of sugary alcohol.

You don’t mind when she’s drunk. She’s always generous with her affections when she is. She kisses you openly and hugs you instead of the other way around. She giggles and rubs your cheeks together and laughs a lot more than she usually does. It’s sweet and endearing and you love her for it.

Usually, Merula wouldn’t be caught dead doing anything remotely touchy-feely (Ismelda always gags and makes fun of her) but she seems to forget these repercussions once she’s drunk.

You glance at her when she mutters your name.

“Hm?” You ask.

“‘m gonna throw up.” She whispers in a mildly seductive way before emptying her guts into your lap.

Penny laughs and laughs and laughs while Rowan fusses and casts some spells to rectify the situation. Merula, on the other hand, is out cold.

When she wakes the next morning with a terrible hangover, she forces you to run around and get water for her. She could do this herself with a few simple calling spells, but she likes to make you work.

“Did I do anything last night?” She asks.

You fix her with a look. “You threw up on me.” 

For a moment, she just stares at you, before she bursts into laughter.

+1

Merula likes to walk. She says it’s a good form of exercise, but you suspect it’s because she wants to show off her new boots. You got her a pair made from old dragon hide that Charlie had hooked you up with. They’re heavy and scaly and Merula refuses to leave the house without them, even when the weather is hot and boots seem to be insulated with heat.

She’s stepped on your toes multiple times, which hurts quite a lot, but you don’t mind. You’ve suffered through worse pain throughout the years.

You two stroll around in the streets, having no destination, and find yourselves in a narrow streetway bustling with people. Subconsciously, you push Merula behind you. She’s not fond of excessive human contact and avoids it as much as possible. 

But today, Merula scowls and shoulders her way to walk next to you. “Stop doing that.” She mutters.

You look at her. “Stop doing what?”

“Walking in front of me.” She snaps and you shut up before she actually gets upset.

You pass a corner and Merula bumps into you as another pedestrian jostles her shoulder.

“Sorry.” She rubs her shoulder, giving them a glare. She turns to look at you and freezes. “Why’re you grinning like that?”

You don’t reply and just continue grinning stupidly. 

She might seem annoyed by your lack of an answer, but she doesn’t complain later when you kiss her for no good reason at all.

**Author's Note:**

> school has been bad please excuse me if i’m inactive for a long time


End file.
